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BRITONS: Not to be Trusted with Sharp Objects

By Horatio Hellpop (Sat Dec 15, 2007 at 10:41:10 PM EST) (all tags)

Hey, when are you guys gonna overthrow your Nanny State?
More importantly; when the time arrives, how will you do it?

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BRITONS: Not to be Trusted with Sharp Objects | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

BWHAHAHAHAHA by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #1 Sat Dec 15, 2007 at 11:13:43 PM EST

hilarious!

'and that, children, is how by chuckles (4.00 / 1) #2 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 02:18:32 AM EST

all of Britain came to be covered in Nerf!'

Skateboarding is a crime.

Apparently... by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #3 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 05:11:37 AM EST

the ban is only on curved blades. Straight ones are still allowed.

So I guess we'd be overthrowing with ones like this:

http://www.a2armory.com/images/claymores/claymore-silver-armoury.jpg

seems like it will do the job...

: Also by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 08:31:35 AM EST

..the ban will be on cheap and nasty ones. Chavs will not be part of the revolutionary forces.
Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
: Didn't they try that by wumpus (4.00 / 1) #6 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 09:21:06 AM EST

in 1745? Maybe they need curved blades to deflect the bullets...
Wumpus

[ Parent ]
: We still have... by Vulch (4.00 / 1) #15 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 04:25:28 PM EST

...the Rogerborgs of these nations to act as armourers. It's the Highlander wannabes they're disarming, for once they've remembered how well disarming highlanders generally works.

[ Parent ]

Awesome: by gazbo (4.00 / 6) #4 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 06:02:13 AM EST

In the wrong hands, samurai swords are dangerous weapons

"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

Answer: By using by yicky yacky (4.00 / 4) #7 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 11:05:14 AM EST

the assortment of rifles and shotguns that litter the countryside, I imagine. And good old Britonic pluck. Pluck and innovation. Pluck, innovation and gallows humour. Pluck, innovation, gallows humour and whimsy. Pluck, innovation, gallows humour, whimsy and a stiff cup of tea. And discipline. And precision. And proles. Proles at the front; their betters at the back. And radio four. And the BBC. And football. And cricket. And north sea oil. And catapults. And slings. Slings as distinct from catapults, you understand. One is whipped around the head and partially released, hurling a missile; the other uses elasticity to hurl a bolus of cattle excrement in between its own mount-points and at the offending item. And peashooters. And spudguns. And potatoes. And scotch.

So, to summarize: we shall overthrow our nanny state with rifles, shotguns, pluck, innovation, humour (gallows), whimsy, discipline, precision, proles, the BBC (radio 4 inclusive), football, cricket, north sea oil, catapults and slings, peashooters, spudguns, potatoes, scotch and a good strong cup of tea. And any bin lorries which are to hand.

----
26 days left ...

nobody expects the spanish inquisition! by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 11:08:51 AM EST

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix
[ Parent ]

I believe that was implicit. by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #9 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 11:28:53 AM EST

Along with Tom Jones. And Vauxhall Vectras. And Babycham, And 'Hello' magazine. And waxed jackets.

----
26 days left ...
[ Parent ]

: Oh god by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #14 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 02:38:27 PM EST

waxed jackets.....
----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix
[ Parent ]

Best Husi Comment Ever by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #13 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 01:48:18 PM EST

But only in context.

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}
[ Parent ]

I have a plan by Herring (4.00 / 2) #10 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 12:30:16 PM EST

I am going o beat someone to death with a CCTV camera. Then what will the government do?

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey

: Replace the camera and charge you with murder. by Driusan (4.00 / 2) #12 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 01:01:39 PM EST

I'd imagine.
--
I needed a new sig. And now I have one.
[ Parent ]

Woah by duxup (4.00 / 3) #11 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 12:34:12 PM EST

Most of the time I see "Nanny State" arguments I tend to side with the state. However, this particular issue, well that's just plain crazy. Perhaps they should go all traditional and only allow noblemen to carry swords?
____

: japanese answer by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 04:55:41 PM EST

perhaps if they're tied to the scabbards, they could be allowed?

[ Parent ]

They won't. by CountSpatula (4.00 / 3) #16 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 07:52:11 PM EST

Seriously. After all, all we've seen is them fold up like lawn chairs over and over again. Why do you think they'll overthrow shit like this?

--
Organics.
"I've never been more afraid of a diary comment EVAR." - RapidHamster

I'm much more concerned... by ShadowNode (4.00 / 3) #17 Sun Dec 16, 2007 at 09:06:49 PM EST

With the prospect of some meth head going on a stabbing fest than I am with the idea of ever having to overthrow the government.

Almost every nation in the world has managed to pull itself out of despotic monarchy without firing a shot.

If you're wise, you can avoid the tweakers. by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 1) #19 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 04:00:54 PM EST

OTOH, the Gov is everywhere.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

So? by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #22 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 09:08:43 PM EST

There is a non zero chance I'll end up facing a tweaker with a samarai sword. There is zero chance I'll need to overthrow a government with a samarai sword.

[ Parent ]

Well, there's the problem. by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 1) #23 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 11:58:40 PM EST

You're down to samarai swords at this point.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

I'm not by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #24 Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 12:49:47 AM EST

See, we have this thing we call "voting" that works wonders at effecting change in government. You can even use it to unban samarai swords or nukes or whatever crazy ass shit you want.

Provided, of course, people actually want that.

[ Parent ]

Who kept samarai swords from the German Jews? by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 1) #25 Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 02:58:07 AM EST

That's right! The Nazis did!

Can you see the chilling parallel here?

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

I guess so by ShadowNode (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 08:53:48 PM EST

So you're saying a bunch of British people are going to take over a small middle eastern country as a homeland for ninjas?

[ Parent ]

: Précis by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 1) #27 Tue Dec 18, 2007 at 09:13:24 PM EST

[anatak]
"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

I was about to say by TPD (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 11:04:39 AM EST

"Don't worry, we still have one offensive weapon NO GOVERNMENT could ever ban"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glassing but the link pretty much directly contradicts that statement!

Rock Hard Abs are just a sw-sw-swivel away!

: just sayin' by bobdole (2.00 / 0) #28 Fri Dec 28, 2007 at 10:22:51 PM EST

http://www.pop-campaign.co.uk/
-- The revolution will not be televised.
[ Parent ]

1984 was an instruction manual by dmg (4.00 / 1) #21 Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 07:09:19 PM EST

Not a warning.

--
Hard work is morally wrong.

BRITONS: Not to be Trusted with Sharp Objects | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback


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